TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, mam, it's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher mam!!
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"DALAWANG LASING...NAGLALAKAD."
LASING-1: Shege pare, Ayan na yung bahay namin eh, dito na lang ako, salamat sa paghatid mo sakin ha!
LASING-2: Mali ka pare, hindi yan ang bahay mo... diyan ako nakatira eh... kaya sa amin yang bahay na yan! Okey?
BABAE :(Nagbukas ng pinto}.. Hoy, mga Unggoy! Anong pinagtatalunan nyo diyan? Lasing na naman kayong Mag-ama noh?
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DIRTY OLD MAN: Alam mo pare, lima ang tsiks ko ngayon!
PARE : Magaganda ba sila pare?
D.O.M.: Maganda sila pare.... at magkakamukha pa silang lahat!
PARE : Ha, bakit nagkaganon pare?
D.O.M. : Lahat sila Mukhang Pera !!
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ARMY : Manong, san ba dito nagpupugad ang mga NPA..?
MANGYAN: Sir, matagal nako dito sa bundok, pero wala pa akong nakikitang pugad ng NPA.... Ano ba kulay ng ITLOG nila sir..?
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ERAP: (Nag-e-exercise) 1234 Amen...!
5678 Amen...!
8765 Amen...!
4321 Amen...!
JINGOY: Dad, bakit may pa-amen amen ka pa..?
ERAP: Kasi sabi ng Doktor ko... "EXERCISE RELIGIOUSLY"..!
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An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.
Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,...isn ' t it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul: Oh...dear!
Arab : Ah Deer? Me no fuck, they run too fast!
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Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, "What are NITRATES?
The student replied shyly, "Ma'am, sa motel po.
NITRATES are higher than day-rates!"
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"Usapan ng dalawang mayabang..."
Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala
niya ang dyaryo sa akin.
Diego: Alam ko.
Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.
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WHO'S GUILTY?
Wife dreaming in the middle of the night
suddenly shouts, "Quick, my husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, "Damn! I am the
husband!"
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- Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow. - Unknown
- Be kind to your kids, they'll be choosing your nursing home. - Unknown
- A diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. - Chinese Proverb
- I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. - John Burroughs
- We are born weak, we need strength; helpless, we need aid; foolish, we need reason. All that we lack at birth, all that we need when we come to man's estate, is the gift of education. - Jean Jacques Rousseau 1712-1778
- Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave. Our birth is nothing but our death begun. - Bishop Hall
- Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh. - Robert Bolt
- Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha
- Birth and Death are the two noblest expressions of bravery. - Kahlil Gibran
- The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. - Seneca
- We are all born naked and screaming and if you're lucky that sort of thing won't stop there. - Unknown
- Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them. - Margaret Mitchell Gone with the wind
- Nobility is not a birthright. It is defined by one's actions. - Robin Hood
- Men are equal; it is not birth but virtue that makes the difference. - Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet]
- You were born an original. Don't die a copy. - John Mason
- Real birthdays are not annual affairs. Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth. - Ralph Parlette
- Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; The soul that rises with us, our life's star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar; Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home. - William Wordsworth
Maria Angelica Dy
Link 2 Support
Call Center Agent, Technical Support
Computer Networking
Human Resource Management deals with hiring qualified and productive manpower, and managing people. They are the one who deals with problem regarding companies’ employees. They ensure to meet the expectation of their most valuable asset in the company – the people who individually and collectively contribute to achieve the company’s objective. They are the one who handles the resignation and termination of truant employees. They almost touch all division in the company regardless to their position from agent to the manager but of course not the CEO.
The personnel I’ve interviewed agreed to their company’s HRM, for it ensures to meet what they are expecting as an employee in that organization. She have seen the effort of the management to handles all the concern of their people compare to the other companies that she had work with in the past. Their office guarantees the address all concern of their people like health benefit, they have what they called HMO it is a medical assistance that is only available for their regular employees. They are also the one who manages the SSS and Pag-ibig loans.
However, there are some lapses in their management just like some of their policies are being bypass, politics within the company and accounting discrepancy. The company makes sure to have a company meeting at least once a year including all its employees and the big bosses. It is done to address at least all of their concern and problems within the organization. If there are legal policies arises regarding the good or benefits of the employee just like the additional salary fee of 25 pesos this 2nd quarter and employee allowance increase, in which they have granted one month after the hearing.
I do agree to the management of their company, people are very vulnerable that need to be dedicated much attention. Thus, they did their best to address the problems within the organization and given the right action. A company is a community of people, whose working together to attain common goal.
The personnel I’ve interviewed agreed to their company’s HRM, for it ensures to meet what they are expecting as an employee in that organization. She have seen the effort of the management to handles all the concern of their people compare to the other companies that she had work with in the past. Their office guarantees the address all concern of their people like health benefit, they have what they called HMO it is a medical assistance that is only available for their regular employees. They are also the one who manages the SSS and Pag-ibig loans.
However, there are some lapses in their management just like some of their policies are being bypass, politics within the company and accounting discrepancy. The company makes sure to have a company meeting at least once a year including all its employees and the big bosses. It is done to address at least all of their concern and problems within the organization. If there are legal policies arises regarding the good or benefits of the employee just like the additional salary fee of 25 pesos this 2nd quarter and employee allowance increase, in which they have granted one month after the hearing.
I do agree to the management of their company, people are very vulnerable that need to be dedicated much attention. Thus, they did their best to address the problems within the organization and given the right action. A company is a community of people, whose working together to attain common goal.
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